Outback Cuisine

Outback Cuisine By Ch'erie

On a cold wintry night in New Jersey
Ed & His fair lady decided on a change of tack
So off they went to dine
at a Luscious restaurant called the "Outback"

The first course being an entree,
they ordered Marinated Witchety Grubbs
Something of a delight
in all Australian Outback Pubs

As they slithered down their gullets
His fair lady did remark
"Ed dear I think I'll stop at one
Another just may make me bark"

Upon seeing her nauseous face
the waiter did enquire
"Sometin wrong with the Grubbs Mate?"
Struth you look like you swallowed barbed wire"!

The fair lady gaining her composure
quickly knocked back a Fosters light
suggesting they order the main meal
Roast Goanna, Chef's choice for the night!

Now Ed wasn't feeling the best
somethings were just not sittin in his tummy
so he excused himself
headed for the nearest dunny

During his long course of absence
his lady was heard to utter
"You know I think they weren't that bad
Kinda tasted like Peanut Butter"

Ed returned to the table
with a relieved look on his face
Said to his fair lady
"Think this will be the last we come to this place"

But, the night was only young
main course was late to arrive
Ed was now considering
if this night, they would survive!

Suddenly He caught a whiff
a most pungent odour of garlic and Goanna
"Wonderful he exclaimed."
I've quite run out of Outback Manna"

Both eager to tuck in
Knife and Fork n Hand
they had no idea what was comming
what mischief had been planned!

The waiter did approach
With the Roast on Platter in hand
With a wily smirk
their meal on the table did land....

The lady reeled back in her chair
Let out an almighty shriek
"it it it's still moving"
her face pale and bleak"!!!

Upon seeing her distress
Ed quickly reached for his knife
Yelling at the creature
for scaring his darling wife

The Goanna sat up on the table
and to to Ed's utter dismay
simply nodded and tipped his hat
Recoiling those famous words......